How do i tell my parents im suicidal and depressed? im 13. and cut myself.?

ive been tortured since 1st grade. my best friends mom died in 3rd grade. my whole grade hated me for 2 yrs until 5th grade. i never smiled or had friends until 6th grade when i went to a new school which is 6-12. 7th grade was hard. my best friend is leaving me yet again. my mom is threatening to move my school for 9th grade, im going to 8th. at home, nobody ever pays attention and my mom doesnt understand me. her rules are so strict that theyre easy to break unintentionally. im only happy on stage, i love singing and acting and modeling. but my parents dont know cause they never listen to me. they wouldnt allow me. im sorta popular at school but that doesnt matter to me. i treat everybody the same and friendly like, even when they dont. and im constantly hurt by everybody. i do bad things because it seems like its only when my parents are yelling at me that they pay attention. i dont enjoy it though. i used to be a 95 avg student and now im 79. i have suicidal thoughts everyday. i somedays cut myself. i pray to God every day, for things to get better, for my parents to understand that im starting to like boys and i love performing and that someday i wanna be able to get alotta money to help all the homeless and people with cancer (old best friends mom died of it). but they never do. if i told them theyd laugh or get mad about the boys thing and threaten to send me to another country. and or, hit me. i cant tell em im depressed and suicidal because they wouldnt take me to a doctor or get me a therapist. theyre always fighting and my dads too busy cheating on my mom. he said he didnt want me. so did my auntes and uncles. my moms strict and always stressed but when i try to help she yells at me. im reaallyy depressed and i most days think the best answer is suicide, because i wanna go be with God. but im afraid ill go to hell. and ill miss all the people i love. i cant call the suicide hotline or my talk to my best friend because they disconnected my phone and i can barely go on the internet, im in a corner typing this on my 3ds. im tired, physically and mentally. all i wanted was a loving understanding family, but none of them want me and have told me countless times. despite it all, i still try to make em proud of me for once, but theyre always disappointed cause i do 'bad' things for attention. i feel like God is mad at me so im still praying. i have nobody but Him. I still have my faith in Him, ive never lost it, and i hope He makes it better soon. but i think i really need a therapist or help before i do something ill regret.