Im in love with a girl who i feel doesnt love me back?

im 17 now, but i feel like ive been in love with this girl for years...im tired of constantly getting heartaches cause of her....she has the ability to easily ruin my day..it definetly wasnt that "love at first sight stuff" cause i hated her when i met her...it definetly is not cause of her looks because when i first talked to her, i didnt even pay attention to her...all i can say say is that shes an angel and no one will ever feel for her the way i do...shes two years older than me...whenever i think of her being with someone else, it makes me cry a little...whenever i picture her with some other guy, its like..i know i dont deserve her..but i hate theh thought of her being with some other guy...uo to now, i never have shown her hints that i have alot of feelings for her but somethings i do on accident culd make it suspicious....shes an angel..i know she is....shes perfect...shes everything i want in a woman....i dont get along with anyone better than i do with her..shes the only one i can completely be myself with and feel comfrontble about it...obviously, now when i look at her, i see the most beautiful woman in the world..but surprisignly, my brother says shes ugly :/...i knw its messed up but i'd prefer other guys to think she was ugly too...maybe its just so that i culd feel more like later on, i wuld have a chance....the worst memory i have with her is when she called me and asked me f she should date this guy that goes to her gym....and obviously i told her yes....shes been single for sooo long nd is surrounded by friends who have boyfriends.....shes like 19 now...the way i feel now, i feel as if i cant ever have her...i dont want anyone...i cant picture myself happier with anyone than when i am with her....its funny i have realized that all these stupid love songs make perfct sense...when i think of her, i never do in a sexual manner or in a manner of lust.....i just think about the laughter and fun times we have and could have together, like walking in a mall or driving and laughing and blasting music...i know its stupid and i know you probably could think im pathetic...i dont really know what im asking for..i guess im probably just trying to reach out to see if im in the smae shoes as someone...im only using alotta periods because im thinking in my head as im talking....i love her...i know i do, i love her and it just kills me inside to know that she most likely doesnt....i feel at home when i talk to her over the fone...like as if i culd just sit back, relax and be reall, ya know? ughhh welll i guess ive said where im at...if ou do understamd me lease write backk,,i'd really appreciate it,,,thanks and god bless..:)